Peace Corps volunteers are given the daunting chore, when arriving in their host country, of integrating into their communities. In Benin, this meant learning to shower with a bucket, greet appropriately, munch on peanut sticks, properly wrap a pagne, and frighten small children.
So what does it look like to be bien integré – well-integrated – into our good ol’ United States of America? Here are some possible signs that you’re blending right in:
- You had orthodontic work before the age of 15.
- You also have whitened your teeth. Or if you haven’t, you really want to.
- You can walk past the pet food aisle at the grocery store without skipping a beat.
- You’ve been to a SuperBowl party.
- You have owned at least one car by the age of 21.
- A two-hour car drive doesn’t phase you.
- You like cheeseburgers and fries… and burritos… and falafels… and pizza… and naan… and sushi… and crème brulee… and cappuccinos… and…
- Speaking of cappuccinos: you’ve gone through at least one Starbucks gift card.
- Speaking of giftcards: you get at least two every Christmas.
- At least 10% of your income goes towards entertainment.
- You have a hobby.
- You have a favorite dog breed.
- You have an enormous refrigerator.
- If you accidentally bump someone at a store, you smile and say “excuse me”. If you accidentally hit someone on the freeway, you yell and make at least one angry gesture.
- You only sort of know the words to your national anthem… and even if you knew them all there’s little chance you could hit those notes.
- You can name more current celebrities than past presidents.
(Shoutout to Dutch: this list was his idea)
